It's early in the morning, the sun hasn't even risen yet, and I'm laying here enjoying life, kind of. I'm laying in a king sized bed and yet I'm hanging off the edge. The Raving Rev is sound asleep next to me, not hanging off the bed. I have my two year old spooning next to me and my 11 month old, all wrapped up, also laying on me.
It's quiet, everything is peaceful and I look at my little family. Foolishly I can't resist giving my two year old, D, a squeeze and stroking the face of my 11 month old, S. CRUD....don't wake up, don't wake up! A cross between a prayer and a plea passes on my lips, please don't wake up yet. They both wriggle but calm back down into sleep, phew. Dodged a bullet there, thank you God. It took over forty five minutes to get S down to sleep last night. It's been a chaotic week where my life has been turned upside down and I've had a cold so I'm not at my best and I need sleep.
I drift back off into peaceful, dangerous (in case I fall out of bed) slumber to suddenly be rudely awoken by the Raving Rev's alarm. What? Why? He crawls out of bed and they start crawling over me, I groan. "Why are you up so early?" I moan. "It's my exam today and my driving lesson. I'll be back by four" comes the reply. I am awake now. WHAT? "You're leaving me? On my own for the whole day with these two?" Apparently he has to. The exam is important, it's on the road to becoming a minister. How selfish can you get? Wanting to take an exam and leaving me to deal with D and S on my own tut. He creeps out the house and I wrap D and S up and convince them to snuggle down with mummy for a nap which they do. Ahhh, bliss.
BREAKFAST! So the day begins. We get up and get breakfast. Toys are strewn everywhere and no matter how many times I tidy, they are back all over the place within seconds. I straighten the covers on the settee for sixth time in an hour and look at them. I need to shower but dare I leave them on their own? S keeps trying to eat the flowers and annoy the rabbit. She also annoys her brother, D, when she's bored and it starts a fight. I look at them. D is happily staring out the window watching the world go by, minding his own business. S is playing with her toys. Ok, if I'm quick, I can do this. I run upstairs and climb into the shower, turn around and find S trying to climb in with me. "What? You don't like showers! Why are you up here?" She stares at me and wanders off. I'm concerned, that means she's up to mischief. I wash my hair in record breaking time, get dressed in under 30 seconds and race downstairs to find.....nothing. Everything is fine. I eye them both suspiciouosly. I walk over to the settee and straighten the covers again and that's when they start. I turn around to be met with a fully fledged fight. Screaming, yelling, teeth, feet, you name it, they're using it. I drag them apart, telling them both off. Great, now I'll have sulks for the rest of the day. Again they sideswipe me, thirty seconds later they're playing together making out nothing had happened. It's a conspiracy I'm sure of it.
I decide to do a bit of multi-tasking while they're playing so well. I decide to phone my mum and do a bit of housework while they're playing. I learnt to not do that again. The conversation with my mum went something like this:
"Hi mum, how are you?"
"Hello love, we're fine. How are things with you? How's the little ones?"
"They're fine. They're playing at the moment and will you get that out of your mouth? You don't know where it's been"
"What?"
"Sorry mum, two ticks. S....get that out of your mouth. Let go.....let go. I'm going to count to three."
"Hahaha, playing you up are they?"
"Two....a bit yeah.....THREE. Thank you, now go and play. I managed to get a shower though without DON'T SIT ON HER HEAD!"
So the conversation went on and I began to despair, wondering if I will ever be able to have a proper adult conversation again.
After lunch we go out for a walk. I decide to go down to one of the stoney beaches with them and it was wonderful watching them running around on the walk there. S is intrigued by the cows and loves the sheep. She finds them fascinating. D just wants to get to the beach and play with the stones. They run in and out of the mud and S falls into a muddy ditch. She charges up to me, jumps and cuddles me. I hug her and smile and put her down, loving this moment with them. Then I look down and see that my clean jeans are now covered in mud. I sigh. I guess I'm destined to not have clean clothes anymore, oh well, it's worth it. We play, we explore, we take photos. All is good. We get home and they collapse, exhausted and I drink a nice hot cup of tea. They're so gorgeous when they're asleep. I stroke S on the cheek, I can't resist. She looks so cute and adorable. CRUD, don't wake up, don't wake up! When will I learn?
Suddenly the postman bangs at the door, waking both of them and making me spill hot tea all over myself. S starts shouting, she hates people knocking at the door and D goes and hides in a corner because he's got a fright. The postman looks at me in shock. My hair is wild and windswept; my eyes have dark circles from lack of sleep; I'm covered in hot tea and mud and I'm trying to hush S, who is yelling at the top of her voice whilst I comfort D and tell him everything is ok. The postman has the nerve to laugh! "Rough day?" he asks with a knowing grin. Normally I would laugh but my legs are on fire from the tea and I'm being deafened in one ear by S. I grab the mail, mutter thanks and retreat inside. I retrieve D from the corner and cuddle him but S who is tired and grumpy, pushes him off my lap because she wants cuddles. Thus starts the mass sulking and the telling off and my legs are now numb, I think I have third degree burns. At that moment, the Raving Rev walks through the door and just stares. The house is completely trashed. I'm a complete mess and the young 'uns are covered in mud, overtired and playing up. He grins. S runs to him for a cuddle and suddenly they both turn into angels. Daddy is home. The Raving Rev cooks dinner while I get changed and they both fall asleep for him. The rest of the evening passed with us all unconscious on the settee.
We head to bed, cuddle them both and put them to bed. S only protests for five minutes this time before collapsing exhausted into her bed. I lay in the dark listening to them both snoring and smile. I snuggle up to the Raving Rev. "Well done, you survived" he whispers. I grin. "I did. Don't leave me again, they'll kill me next time". He laughs and we drift off to sleep. At some point in the night they crawl up on the bed and I'm hanging off the edge again. I snuggle up to them, enjoying our family. I stroke them because they are so cute when they're asleep. Damn it! Don't wake up....don't wake up......
An important fact that I should admit to here and that you the reader should know is that my 'kids' are furbabys. They are my dogs. In the past week we got the 11 month old puppy, S, which is why our lives have been turned upside down. It's been a tough week but we are now all settling and this is my family - the Raving Rev, D and S and myself. To all the women out there who have human children and dogs, I am in awe of you. Barely coping with two dogs I dread to think how I'd manage with kids as well. God Bless you all.
