Hey there,
I thought that today I would share a bit of my history with you in my 'new' house. It might give you an idea how crazy my husband and I are (and some crazy people think we're suited to the ministry haha). The story I'm going to tell you takes place one night during January 2011. So grab a cuppa, get comfy and join me in a night now fondly known as 'A Comedy of Errors'.
On this night, the word windy could not describe the weather. The gales were over 70mph. It was the kind of stormy night where I was thankful to be curled up infront of the coal fire, nice and dry and warm.....or so I thought. In the late evening my hubby shouted and informed me that we had a slight problem. I went through to our hallway and to find that it was flooded! The wind was so strong that it had pushed the rain through the seals in the door. It was chaotic with us both running around grabbing the mop and towels and trying desperately to stem the flow of water. We finally managed to stop the rain coming in and we mopped up the hall and congratulated ourselves on a job well done. After all the excitement I sat down with a much needed cup of tea and began to relax. How very silly of me.
Unbeknown to me, hubby darling had gone out into the backgarden to get some more coal for the fire. Now, for reasons best known to himself, he decided that he would peer around the side of the house to see what the sea was like in the bay. He peered round the corner, directly into the wind which promptly took away his breath, his slipper and his glasses. Yes, he had managed to have his glasses blown off his face. He came hobbling into me (where I was nice and warm and dry) to inform me that he had lost his slipper but found it again but couldn't find his glasses and we had to go outside to find them. Outside, in the dark, in the rain and 70mph winds? Of course, in the dark with a hurricane blowing this is what you do. I think that we must have looked like a couple from a really crazy comedy show. It was one of those acts that you would not believe people would be stupid enough to do such a thing and yet, there we were.
So we were out in the dark, where the wind was so loud that I had to shout to be heard, crawling around in a garden bed with a tiny torch looking for a pair of glasses. I could not help but laugh at the idiocy of the situation. I was laughing so hard that I nearly fell over, face first into a puddle. Thankfully, the Lord heard my hysterical (laughter not the other kind) prayers and I found his glasses. I shouted as loudly as I could to hubby that I'd found them and that I was going in. I struggled to the backdoor but a strange noise made me turn around. There was my hubby, stuck in the middle of the road, screaming for help. How was he stuck? The wind was so fierce that it was physically pushing back and he couldn't move against it. There he was, flailing around in the middle of the road, looking like he was trying to walk forward in a wind tunnel. Ever loving and helpful wife that I am, I crumpled onto the floor in hysterical laughter. Upon realising that I would be of no help to him, he did the funniest thing I had ever seen. He did a kind of stuntman leap forward, upon which the wind picked him up and flung him into the fence allowing him to work his way back into the garden. He heroically picked me up off the floor and flung me through the back door into the kitchen. Well, that was enough excitement for me. I crawled through to the frontroom and sat down, still giggling.
Soon it was time for bed and I started to get my pyjamas on. Suddenly, I heard a choking sound, coughing, felt a freezing cold blast of air and then the fire alarm started screaming. FIRE! Aaargh. I ran out into the hallway only to collide with hubby, which sent me flying onto my backside. I looked around, in a panic, trying to work out where the fire was. I saw that the front door was wide open, the dog was thinking of doing a bunk and hubby was bravely brandishing a tea towel. What was going on? I looked toward my hubby only to see him in his dressing gown, leaping around like a Morris dancer on speed flinging the tea towel around. What on earth was he doing? In between jumps and flicks, he yelled at me that he was trying to shut the alarm up. It was going off because when he had let the dog outside the wind had created a draught, causing the smoke from the fire to enter the rooms downstairs instead of going up the chimney. He had opened all the doors and windows trying to let the smoke out which was working but it was also letting the rain in. In that situation, I did the only thing I could, I laughed.
I eventually regained composure and offered to help hubby. I began the manic Morris dancing but unfortunately, I didn't know the dance very well and when I wafted the tea towel at the smoke alarm, the smoke alarm exploded and went hurtling down the stairs, just missing hubby's head. Ah, that wasn't supposed to happen. However, the aim was to shut the alarm up, it was quiet, therefore - job done. The downstairs had turned into a swimming pool and everything smelt of smoke. What next? Nothing. I couldn't take anymore excitement and went to bed, leaving hubby to clear up the swimming pool that he had created.
So there you are, a glimpse into the stupid antics that are my life. At some later point I'll share with you the story of The Good, The Bad and The Ugly standoff involving me and some scary poultry.
Until then, take care and God bless.
