I already know the answers, I've been here before but no matter how many times you go through this, it never gets easier. The death of a loved one is always a shock and you're left reeling in your world. The tears come unbidden. The pain is sharp and intense. The memories make you want to smile but instead you end up sobbing.
My uncle Drew passed away this week, unexpectedly. His passing has left everyone who knew him reeling. There is a massive hole in the lives of so many. You see, my uncle Drew was a man who knew many people and, I think it would be fair to say, bought sunshine into their lives. He had been in the Royal Navy and he had been a coastguard. He sadly lost his wife only a couple of years ago and it broke his heart completely. Yet, still through his heartbreak he would smile and make you smile.
I only got to reconnect properly with him last year but I can honestly say, he was such a kind hearted man who loved and cared about others. His warmth, friendliness, love and care were so genuine.......
What can I say about him? How do you tell others about a guy who was just fantastic? How do you explain the emptiness that one person has left in your life?
One of the best songs I've ever heard which explains how death feels to me is called I Grieve by Peter Gabriel.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=K4d_ilHsFjc
The news that truly shocks is the empty, empty page....
So I try to remember and smile and be thankful. I am so thankful that I got to spend the short amount of time that I did with him. I got to share my birthday with him this year. We all went round to his house and a roast dinner and uncle Drew had bought me a cake. I made him shake his head in disbelief and amusement. I turned up in a 1950's style dress. When he saw me he told me how lovely I looked. The he looked down and noticed my lilac tights and Dr Marten boots. "Red, there is a time for being lady like and a time for boots". He couldn't help grinning though as I bounced around the house. Every time after that, when we met, he would mention my boots and start chuckling.
There was the great evening that the Raving Rev and I went round and had an Indian take away with uncle Drew and we watched 47 Ronin. It was lovely to spend time with him and his great big bear that was disguised as an Alsatian.
We had a barbecue with him and the Raving Rev and I sat the whole evening chatting with him. Uncle Drew had tried to make me a strawberry dakiri. He put whole strawberries in it! It didn't quite go right but I loved him for trying. I also appreciated it because I knew how much he hated strawberries.
I remember sitting on the sofa at mum and dad's while uncle Drew had me roaring with laughter at his stories of when he was in the Navy and the coastguard.
I remember and the tears threaten but I am grateful, thankful and happy for the time we had together. I thank God that we had him in our lives again, even if for a short time. I smile to know that he is happy and with his wife and God now.
John 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
So to end on a slightly upbeat note, here is a piece of music that I like and I hope you enjoy it.
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