Awww, ain't they cute! On the left is 'P' (names hidden to protect identities lol). This little lady is 6 years old but she is a total lady. P walks very elegantly, refuses to talk to you until she has known you for at least a year and is so wonderfully trained. She is totally amazing and so cute and cuddly!
In the middle we have 'A'. A is not even a year old yet, still full of puppy bounciness. Full of mischief and love, A knows that everyone is her new best friend. She is totally in love with D and sometimes wets herself a little bit in her total excitement of seeing him, bless.
Last but not least we have 'D', the wee staffie boy. D is 3 years old, gorgeous and loving (my boy so I'm only slightly biased) and he loves his poodles and his auntie (Poodle Momma).
These three have created an unlikely pack but it works so well. P does not really speak English. Poodle Momma is from Europe and so only speaks to the poodles in her native tongue (this has taught me how to say sit in a different language! Totally fluent now, I can visit this country and repeatedly tell people to sit and possibly lay down. I may even be able to ask them for a paw! All useful stuff haha). So P kinda looks at you in disgust when you try to communicate in English to her. I have found that if I'm not brandishing a tasty treat, my words are inconsequential.
A, I think, is the translator. She has learnt to speak Poodle Momma's native language but her daddy (and everyone else around her) speak English thus she is able to translate for P and communicate with D. A does not need bribery of treats, though they are always welcome. She just wants love and cuddles and kisses, especially from D.
D, he's pure English. He's not quite getting the foreign language that Poodle Momma speaks to him in but he loves her anyway. When we are all together, D ignores me and does whatever Poodle Momma asks grrr. This can be frustrating, especially when we're at dog training.
For example, one night at training, we are all told to heel our dogs. Poodle Momma commands P to come to her heel by tapping her thigh. P instantly does as she's told. D also runs over and heels to Poodle Momma and totally ignores my commands to heel to me. When Poodle Momma calls P over to her, D tries to run over as well! He loves his auntie so much but just occasionally I wish that he could look well trained and as if he loves me, sigh.
So we have been having adventures with our pack and we've clocked up some stories. There was the time that Poodle Momma and I took our beloved furbabies up to the local field. D and A began charging around like mad things with P refereeing their play fighting. Poodle Momma and I chatted with one another, fussed the horses in the next field, told the furbabies to "play nice" and just enjoyed the fact that we were out in the fresh air and the dogs were tiring themselves out without any need for input from us. Well, I remember that I was looking at Poodle Momma as she was speaking and then it all went weird. I heard her gasp but I was no longer looking at her. I heard her laughing but at what I could not see. All I could see was the grass! I was confused. I was no longer in a vertical position but a horizontal one. What on earth was going on? Poodle Momma, explained through fits of giggles as she helped me up. D and A had become so engrossed in chasing each other that they were unaware of their surroundings and had charged straight through me. I had had a combined weight of 40 kilos of fast moving dogs charging at me and taking my legs out. Oh how I love nature and dogs. It wouldn't have been so bad but 5 minutes later they tried to do it again! Poodle Momma spotted it though and managed to shout a warning to me. Should I be concerned that the dogs find it great sport to knock me down?
Yesterday was a good trip out. We decided to take the 'pack' down to the beach and that we (the humans) would have a little picnic. What could possibly go wrong?
Well, we began with poor A getting so excited that she wet herself a little bit. This did nothing to help poor Poodle Momma's frazzled mood. We got our sandwiches, our drinks and snacks and loaded the dogs into the car. "I haven't fed A today so she shouldn't be sick" Poodle Momma informs me. You see, poor A gets travel sick and the last time she was ill in the car was hilarious. Poor D got covered in it and we found out that both Poodle Momma and myself are hopeless at cleaning up sick.
We began our journey and all that could be heard from the car is "Will you sit DOWN! Don't chew her foot. Why are you not strapped in? Stop hitting him in the face with your tail! Yes, I love you too. Don't sit on him. Don't push her off the seat!" In the end, Poodle Momma and I disconnected ourselves from the back of the car and let them sort it out while we chatted and enjoyed the scenery. We finally got to the beach and the dogs were bouncing.
We open the car doors and there's an explosion of poodles and staffie! Dogs are going everywhere and we just stand there a bit shell shocked. We manage to grab them, grab our sandwiches and head off for the beach. Through a hole in the wall which I'm sure is much narrower than it used to be, ahem. Through a field of sheep, or walking fluffy clouds. Down onto the sand, ahhh. Like kids, the dogs take off, kicking sand up everywhere. Straight to the water, back up to us, all around in a big circle! Poodle Momma and I find a sheltered area and sit down to eat. We're smiling; feeling happy and beginning to feel the stresses of life fade away. Then the dogs are back with us. We have food, can they have some? Why are we sat down? Come on, move, move, move! AAAARRRGH.
Suddenly, D finds a rock. He is obsessed with rocks and he starts digging around it and chucking it. That's fine, he's occupied. Poor A stares at him in total confusion. She doesn't get the excitement of the rock. She picks up a rock and tries to copy him but she can't see why he's going nuts over a stupid rock. Poodle Momma and I laugh and begin to eat our sandwiches which suddenly become actual sandwiches. D is not paying attention to where he is and suddenly he's kicking sand all over us! Well, what's a picnic on the beach if you don't have that lovely gritty feel in your mouth?
We finished eating and walked a short way across the beach with fluffies. It was here that I found out that Poodle Momma has a fear of water. You see, to get to the next part of the beach you had to take 5 steps across where the waves were coming in. The waves were not deep so even if they caught you, you weren't going to get soaking we feet. I waited for the wave to begin receding and began walking across. Suddenly I heard a ferocious "MOVE" and felt a fist in my back, which sent me crashing into the rock next to me, grazing my knuckles. I looked around in panic and shock. What's happening? Has Poodle Momma spotted a shark that's coming in with the tide? Is there a tsunami? Has a killer sea monster began emerging from the sea? All I knew is that in my winded state, I must quickly move away from the sea. I run and gasping for breath I turn around and brace myself. I am ready to punch the shark on it's nose. I am ready to bop the sea monster with the dogs water bowl. I am ready to say my prayers if it is a tsunami. There is nothing. Just Poodle Momma looking sheepish and mumbling an apology. Turns out a wave was coming in and she didn't want to get wet. I was in her way so what better way to move out of her way than to punch me and send me reeling into a rock. Remind me not to be in her path when there is real danger.
After all that excitement and getting the dogs to do some rock climbing, we sit on the sand for a while, staring out to sea. Poodle Momma is relaxing herself by burying her hands in the sand. She's in the middle of explaining to me how the sensation is soothing when suddenly, mid sentence she screams "AAARGH! WHAT THE F***? THAT'S MY HAND!" You see, A had been hiding behind Poodle Momma and saw the sand moving next to her mum. In a brave and noble attempt to protect her mum and kill whatever was moving under the sand, A had pounced on the offending creature. This had led to her putting all her claws into Poodle Momma's hand. Strangely, Poodle Momma seemed less relaxed after this.
We took the dogs back to the car and decided to go and have a look at the art shop and get ourselves a cup of tea/coffee and cake. Ahh, that was better. We discussed art and Poodle Momma taught me stuff that I didn't know which was cool. We ate cake. We chilled. We laughed. We left in a happy, uplifted state. We returned to the car and that's when the comedy sketch began. We found that P had been sat in the front seats, covering them in sand. That's fine, we knew that would happen and sand brushes out, no big deal.
I opened my car door and Poodle Momma opened hers. A gust of wind blew through the car, freeing my air freshener and causing it to make a break for freedom. A, who was in the back of the car is now suddenly outside. P is running around looking confused. I open the back door to get A in but D jumps out. There was just an explosion of dogs. We get D back into the car but then P jumps into the back. A is trying to get into the front and being told off by her momma. P suddenly jumps through to the front and is getting ready to drive the car. A is totally confused and ignoring all commands. Poodle Momma climbs into the front seat and has a melt down whilst I helpfully, kneel by the door, laughing so hard that I can't breathe. Imagine if you will, the two humans just stood there, looking totally bewildered, whilst three dogs run in and out of the car in total confusion and chaos.
We eventually rounded them up, got them into the car and headed home. Here we encountered lambs who do not know the highway code yet and sheep who own the road and will not move unless you give them the correct password (tip - honking your horn and yelling move is not the correct password). Eventually we get home, we have a cuppa, the dogs collapse and we smile. Everything is great. Everything is peaceful, until they wake up......
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